As my departure date inches toward me, I feel many things at once. This conglomerate of emotions doesn't allow me to take small bites and fully experience each one. I have also had images of the river in front of me hoping to see all of it, 2400 miles of downstream going river, laid out in front of me. The unknowns becoming knowns.
After connecting with Ann Ogg, Dan Faust, Jay Kangler, and several other fellow paddlers, the meaning of the unknown is becoming more crystalline. That means I'm starting to see the unknown merely that, unknown. It's a foreign concept, but a relief.
We don't have to hasten forward in an attempt to know the unknown. I've had the odd urge to write about my Day One on the river, but I haven't had that day yet. Crazy to think writing Day One will make it known, even as it continues to be unknown. God gives us only what he wants us to know at one time, and he
knows more than we do that we fear the unknown. It overwhelms humans.
Here I am, a handful of days away from the unknown. Every second, I feel something different about this. My friend, Christi, describes emotion just like this, as if it's coming along on a conveyor all day long and we get to look at each, only one at a time, then let it go by. Right now, I'm feeling excited. Oh, and now, I'm feeling happy, no wait, now I feel scared. But now look, I'm feeling peaceful. It's how Christi does it. She probably would nod and smile at this. Hmm, I'm liking this a bite at a time. I'll see you on my Day One as I'm going and unknowing!